Heliocentrism

I am sad to report that the center of the universe has NOT shifted.... to revolve around me that is. I am not surprised. I mean, whenever I saw a prego chic before this I just assumed that, (planned or unplanned), she got herself into this mess, so she better learn to deal. Now that the proverbial shoe is on the proverbial other foot, I feel more sympathy for those in a delicate condition.

Why do I still have to work? Why am I not being paid to stay home and simply be? Why do I still have to walk up stairs? Why do I have to pay for things? Why do I have to wait in line? Why have the seas not parted in front of me?!?!?! I am filled with righteous indignation about the lack of pampering I am receiving from the universe in general! I long for the days of yore when the genteel went to the country manor for their confinement period. Confined? If that's what being waited on hand and foot is considered, confine me away!

This is just the latest in a series of life events that does not live up to egocentric expectations. Everyone knows what I mean. Certain days are supposed to be all about ME, ME, ME. Yet each one turns out to be a disappointment. Birthdays are the first let down, they never go as planned. Graduation Day is also a disappointment, you're just one of hundreds doing something billions have done before. Girls know that this downward spiral quickly cycles through engagements, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and finally to the Wedding Day. (Yeah, it's nice- but it's not the treated-like-a-princess.... No, treated-like-a-divine-Empress experience you're hoping for.)

Now that I've hit the last milestone, (save for death perhaps), I've come to realize that nothing will ever be all about ME, ME, ME. SIGH. No wait, I'm still in denial. There is still hope. I'm going to get bigger and bigger. Perhaps those last few weeks of misery will be brightened by a shift in the cosmos creating a me-centric universe. Finally.