My dreams of Reality TV super stardom have been dashed! I love Reality TV, and while I'm too old for the Real World, not talented enough for American Idol or So You Think You Can Dance, and too picky to be a Top Chef, I was really hoping that I would win Survivor or The Amazing Race. (I think my brother Matthew would be the perfect partner. He's athletic, we're both smart and used to getting around places, and he's used to my crazy-bitchy-bossiness, so he wouldn't take it personally.)
But this week those dreams have come to an end. I had to get my gestational diabetes screening. I was told I'd have to drink some stuff and then get my finger pricked. LIES!
"Some stuff" turned out to be a soda can worth of orange gunk. I was told "You have 5 minutes to drink this." Ahhhhhh! The pressure! At first it was ok. It actually tasted like flat, orange soda. But about half way through, my sips got smaller and smaller. It was rough, but I made it. But WTF- if I can't drink flat, orange soda without choking it down, there is NO WAY I can even PRETEND like I'll be able to drink smashed up fish heads and milk. There is always an eating challenge on these shows- this year on the Amazing Race one team had to eat an entire goat's head (minus the skull) and there was a Chinese Food challenge that caused 2 people to hurl. Sigh. I'll have to get my 15 minutes of fame some other way.
PS) The "finger prick" was 2 vials of blood! Are they saving this stuff for me in case I need it later? Seriously, I don't know how much more I can bleed!
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