Eating My Words

.... because of my acid reflux, that's about all I'll be eating these days. The end is near, and the time of "misery" has set in. During these past 8 months I've been asked about all manner of ailments; each of which I've been able to shrug off with a smile and say, "No, I'm fine." At the same time I was gloating on the inside about how wonderful and easy my pregnancy was. I must admit that I was also feeling a bit awesome about myself (and about how much better I was than women in general) to be having such a great experience.

Well, I spoke to soon. It all seems to be hitting at once. That's karma for you.

Rowann said I would slow down and not want to walk, I disagreed. OK Rowann- YOU WERE RIGHT!

The birthing class lady asked if anyone has sore groin muscles. I rolled my eyes and thought- WHATEVER. Well, crap- now I wished I'd listen to what she said about soothing that ache.

Gina said she had horrible heartburn and acid reflux. I told her I had an iron stomach. Turns out it's an iron stomach swirling with acid that is getting pushed up my throat.

My feet are swelling (the left more than the right, gross!).

My walk has digressed into a waddle.

It's hard to stand up and sit down.

AND..... When I coughed today, I peed a little.

I'd say that I've hit rock bottom. But I can't! Doing so would only doom me to even more misery. I must suffer in silence.

I've heard more versions of "I couldn't wait to get that baby out" and "I was so sick of it at the end" than I care to recount. I assured the tale teller, and myself, that I was not going to feel that way. Being pregnant was cool! This could go on forever. Well crap.... I swear if those words come out of my mouth.... This is my last fortress of dignity. I will NOT lower myself that far. I still have to have SOME snotty standards you know.